Found out baby is breech 8th October 2010

Today was a trip up to kings, hopefully our last. We set off at half nine, got to Black heath and the trains was playing up. Our train wasn't coming for 20 mins. After a while it was delayed which meant we was going to be late for our appointment. So I called up and let them know, they said still try and come. So we was waiting for the train when it finaly came because it was late it was going straight past our stop and to Victoria station. I suggested we get on it then go back one stop so we did. At Victoria station it was another 30 mins till the train. Which would have been the next one from Black heath. We got on it then at denmark hill the oysters didn't work as it says we didn’t beep them at Victoria because we didn’t leave the station. Any way by this time it was 12:00 . They still went ahead and sore us. We didn't wait very long. Then we was back in the scanning room. The lady was scanning baby , I could see he is so big now. I remember when I very first saw him he was a dot . She took all the measurements. She printed us some more pics. Then she explained he has caught up in size and now weighed 4 pound 14 ounces. Getting big. But he is still in breech . She said I will need another scan in two weeks to see if he has moved into position. If he hasn't they will push around my tummy trying to move him. If that doesn't work I may have to have a c section. This is a bit worrying as now I want to give birth naturally so I can go see baby asap after birth. But the baby has been in the same position for about 6 weeks from the scans. I cannot personally see him moving. So we have the choice of going back there in two weeks or we can get our local hospital to scan us. But me and billy discussed as we live about an hour away from that one know, its just best we go to kings. Least they no why they will have to scan us. Its so not long till baby will be  here I have been so nervous, it doesn't seem real . That within two months we should be parents and have a baby at home. All the time I go to sleep I have dreams about it, not always good but mostly. I cannot wait to meet our baby boy. 

This is were i sort of realized i would be having a c section that really annoyed me as i wanted to go straight to my baby when he was born. 1 more trip to kings then that should be it , its hard work going to 3 different hospitals. 

First Echo and first meet with Dr Miller 5th October 2010

Today was our first heart scan , and visit to the Evelina at st Thomas hospital. When we got there we had to fill out some paper work and a consent form to let people use our scan for training. Billy was feeling really ill today but still made himself come.(he suffered from panic attacks). A lady came and got us and took us in for the scan she had a little chat and look at my notes, then I lay on the bed ready for the scan. The scan started I can see that my baby boy has got big as everything looks so large lol . The lady informed us she would be doing the scan then the consultant would come and have a look so that they both agree on what they see. This was ok she took lots of pictures then the consultant came in and they went through the pictures, he had a little scan of his own. By this time my tummy was sore and I had pains in my back. After they had finished they said they would take us into the room to explain things. So that’s what we did. The consultant asked what did we know so I briefly told him (this was dr miller), about the four chambers and the whole, so on. He said well you do have a good understanding. He then said one thing has changed . This is when our hearts start to go one hundred to a dozen . What if its bad news? But he explained that the small pipe going from the heart to the lungs had closed. So that meant no blood was travelling that way to the lungs. But he also said while baby is inside, there is a connector going from the other tube sending all the blood the lungs need. But when baby is born that connecter closes so baby wont have the blood supply to the lungs. So as soon as he is born he will need a drip which will give him medication to keep the connector open till they do the next step. Which could be either go in through his thigh, and re pierce the hole which has closed and insert a balloon to keep it open. This is not an operation just a procedure. Or they will have to operate and they will make there own connector. So he can come off the medication. This is a shunt. But they cannot decide which one they will do till baby is here and do scans on him. As the whole in the heart can cause some complications. We felt a bit more happy now it had been explained what will happen as he is born, before it was all maybe’s. after the consultant spoke he left us with a lady that worked in the evelina. She asked did we have any questions? Yes we had a few , like will there be something wrong with his lungs as the blood flow is messing around. She reassured us that there wont be. She then gave us some information letters. I have loads of these now . I could write a book. We then asked how do we go about arranging a visit around the evelina hospital. She said she could do it now if we wanted. We was really happy to do this. She took us to see were the special care babies are. Its very emotional in there. Then she walked us around a bit showed us to the family rooms and the breast feeding room. Then we said are good byes, (for now).

Today we ended up getting more than we bargained for we was shown around the Evelina hospital and was showed PICU , nothing ca prepare you for that , and its even worse when your baby is there recovering. 
I was happy there was finally a plan in action for when my baby was born , That's the main thing you want it stability and for you to know what is going to happen. This was our fist meet with Dr Miller he is still Dylan's specialist today. 
The pictures are of inside the Evelinas children's hospital .

Antenatal appointment at st Thomas 13th September 2010

The garden room at St Thomas . 

Today we are of to st Thomas again but today its not for scans its a special antenatal class. its with other parents having a baby with heart problems at st Thomas hospital. it felt better to know we wasn't the only ones going through this. the midwife taking the class was the lady i saw here the other day. she gave us lots of paper work and went over what i had just learned at my normal antenatal class, like pain relief and giving birth. she then went over breast feeding and what we should do as baby wont be able to latch on. we have to store my milk in the freezer and then they will give baby it into his feeding tube. i learned a bit in this lesson. we then got a tour of the hospital were we will be. we see the birth center were ill be and the room. then they took us to a baby ward if babies ill. it was emotional because there was all these incubators. but it was good to see because baby will only be down the corridor from me. at the class there was another couple that wont be induced as they also live in lee. But there baby has a different problem there baby only has half a working heart. we took lots of paperwork and dvds away to have a look at. billy really liked the garden room for pregnant women . i think he will be getting me in there lol , you can see across London. we got told tho we can only have billy and 1 more person in the room when i give birth.

Today was the antenatal class at St Thomas, i liked going to this as we was shown around the birthing suite and we met other family's that was going to be in the same situation as me . They all felt the same worry and feeling of no control. In the end i didn't get to use the birthing suite as i was taken in for a planned c section as my son was breech. Also my son wasn't in the st Thomas hospital he was taken straight across to the Evelina. 

Refused the Amniocentesis test at kings 10th September 2010

Today we have another trip up the hospital to kings college hospital. the appointment was at 10:00am . this was the hospital that thought there was a problem with baby's tummy. we was being scanned , i couldn't hardly understand the man scanning me . he said baby's tummy is better size but the whole of him is still smaller than he should be , but not to worry about he is still in range. he the asked have we been told about having the  Amniocentesis test? This is were you have a big needle go into my tummy to baby while being scanned. i asked what was it for? he said its to see for chromosomes defects. like downs. I said if you do it and find out something will you be able to cure it? he clearly said no. I then said i would not like to have it. If my baby boy comes out with downs or something like that i will not love him no less. He will still be my special baby boy. Billy also agreed, so did my dad. the scanning man didn't seem to happy i think he thought i was going to comply. i don’t want the risk of it because it can cause a  miscarriage. i cannot lose baby . He wrote a report and said he wanted us to come back in 4 weeks time. i cannot see why as st Thomas don’t want to see me any more and im giving birth there. But i suppose its good they keeping a eye on my  baby.

We didn't know why we needed to keep going back to kings it was costing so much money in travel , but i guess it was good as they was checking my baby. I still agree with not having the test done but there was one thing they didn't tell us then was ,They would of been able to say weather the second baby in the future would have a heart problem. Now Dylan is born they cannot do any tests to see if the next baby will be a heart baby. 

First midwife appointment at St Thomas, 8th September 2010

Today we are going to st Thomas hospital for the first time. this will be were i give birth. we got the train from Blackheath to waterloo east station. My mum came with me and billy. We was there early but we got seen at 9:00 am it was just an appointment to meet a midwife that will be on the midwife team that will look after me. She got me to fill out new notes as there hospital have there own maternity notes. It took an hour and a half. Then we all left and had to wait around till 12 for a scan. 12 came and we went up for a scan . We told them about babys tummy not being the correct size yet. They had a look as we watched on the screen. They was doing all there measurements we was worried encase she confirmed there was something wrong. Then she said every thing is fine (apart from his heart). We was so relived. We asked for a picture of our baby. Next thing we knew she had frozen the picture and turned it into a 3d scan it was amazing, to see our baby nearly what he will look like outside the womb. They said the wont need to see us here again as there is nothing they can see wrong with the rest of his body. We was so happy about this.

This was never racking as this is were i will be having my baby , i was so relived when they confirmed the rest of the baby's body was ok . Still sad about his heart but we have started to come to terms with it. The 3d scan was good but my baby did look like a tiny alien bless him :) x 

My First and second antenatal appointment 2nd September 2010

2nd september 2010
Today at 5pm we had our antenatal class, i was a bit worried i don’t like doing things in a group with a load of strangers, nor does billy. worst of all we was late , by 15 mins, when we got in there was a load of hassle to get seated. The lady that was talking was so boring and old. She was telling us what we had to do if we went into labour. Also the first stage of labour. Most of this didn’t relate to us as we will be giving birth at st thomas not queen Elizabeth. Also i was thinking at the time i was going to be induced so i wouldn’t go into labour my self. We finished at 7 and left, I think we will still attend next time as its a different midwife taking the class.

This antenatal class felt so awkward , we also felt disheartened that all the other parents in there was all going to have simple births and there baby's should be happy and healthy. Most of the mums in there there main worry was the pain also , if they pooped while giving birth ! Yet i was worrying if my baby would survive would i get to see him o hold him before he was rushed away. 


9th September
Today at 5 we attended our second antenatal class. its wasn’t so bad as the midwife was nice, and it related more to us she went through giving birth and pain relief. she was more hands on showed us lots of bits like if we have an epidural , we will have to have a drip inserted. They also showed us a fake model of a placenta.

This is were i had my second local antenatal appointment it was good to go to as we was shown models of things we could see when we give birth , even tho i ended up having a c section , at this point i was supposed to go ahead and have a natural birth. 

Environmental health visit 1st September 2010

Today we had an early start the environmental health man came round. i went down stairs and let him in. i showed him all of the problems like the whole down stairs, plug sockets hanging off. he said its bad you shouldn't have been moved in but we had know !So not much can do about it. He said he would be back to take some pictures. He wrote down all of the problems i showed him and mine and wills (the council mans) letter to Trevor(landlord). He then said he would go away and contact everybody he needed to. He would give the landlord a week to get things sorted or at least started. if not we was to contact him.

This was the first time of many visits from the environmental officer. In the end he wasn't able to help he wrote so many letters to the landlord.  Many of our problems was in the communal hall way , yet we also had plugs hanging off in our flat and half a plug socket boded off, the upstairs flooded our flat and the landlord done nothing. our boiler would stop working and he done nothing and our electrics stopped working for days he send a worker that couldn't find a problem. All while i was pregnant.