The birth of my heart baby ! 12/11/10

Today i woke up to happy yet so nervous. By tonight,i should have my baby boy. My dad and stepmum had came down from norfolk and stayed the night. We got and double checked my bag , i have had to pack a hell of a lot as we know we will have to be in hospital for about 2 or more weeks. We then had to call up the hospital to see if they was ready for me and to check there was a bed in PICU. I also needed to know as i had to take some medicine before i left. When i called they was in a fluster and told me to hold on and dont take the medicine and they would call me back in a hour and let me know. Well that hour was so long ! it then went to 1 hour and 45 minutes , Well that was it for me i got on the phone and they said yes come straight in and have the baby ! Well there was a big rush we got to the train station and met mum,Then billys mum Mandy and dad Mark came and met us up at the hospital. Me and billy when up to the ward and i got took in to my own room were they gave billy his scrubs so he could come in and  be with me while i had the c section.

The glimpse of my baby i got.

The way my baby looked
 when i got to see him

They then came to get me i waited to the theater room , was so scary! i then had to lay on this tiny thin table/bed. Then they made me roll on my side on the bed and inserted the epidural , tears was rolling down my face i was just so scared. Then i had to lay on my back and they kept asking me to raise my legs , then finally when i could no longer do this so it  had worked , Well they ended up giving me two epidurals. It was so funny i had to raise my leg and i did but lost the feeling. My leg fell of the table and i couldn't pick it back up. Billy has to hoist my leg back on the table. they he put the sheet up and i could no longer see. After a couple of mins i then said to billy am i naked now , haha he said yes , i was just laying there nude with lots of people in the room . I felt so shameful. They then started and after a while billy said can i look? i said i don't mind and the nurses said yes. Well he sat back down and looked as white as a sheet and he said that is disgusting. then they said we are going to pull about now, well i was feeling so scared now is when my baby comes out to the world and has to end for him self like breath and eat . Then my baby was out, they took him over to the back and was rubbing him down and he was crying , it was so cute he little wha wha wha , I made a comment that's so cute i bet we wont be saying that in a few weeks. they then said we need to take him straight over to the Evelina, i haven't got to see him or hold him os they was wheeling him out the room they stopped for two seconds so i could look then billy went with them , while the stitched me up. I was so worried,about my baby , they then said as soon as my epidural wears off i can go and get in a wheel chair and go see him. As they was stitching me up i started to feel it i had to tell the nurse and she had to stop them and give me some more gas. Billy came back and showed me pictures of my baby . He then went down and told the family how we both was. I got took to my own room on the maternity ward as its not fair to put me with the other mums as i don't have my baby. My mum was the only one who could come up and see me. I fighted for 7 hours to finally move so i could get my self into a wheel chair. I had my baby at 3:30pm so by this time it was 9:30pm . The head nurse then came in i said can i go see my baby now . She said NO! Well i started to cry , begging her for me to go see my baby she said i couldn't as i have had a c section and over there if i have a bleed they cannot deal with me! i was devastated , not only have i not yet held my baby i dont know what he looks like (only a picture) I Just wanted my baby , i couldn't believe it. Billy went back and throw with me and my baby, who we named Dylan. Billy then went home at 11:00pm .I just had to lay in my bed with al the bad thoughts listening to the other mums baby's cry, While some one else was looking after mine, to be honest i was pissed off! Then i had to wait for my dad and Stepmum to get back up the hospital at 11:00am the next day then they wheeled me over to see my baby.