Ok today I was going to have to tell my dad before somebody else did! Now my nerves was going hundred a minute. I had a lot to do today, so got up and had a bath. Got ready and got the bus to Woolwich. I went straight to the housing office , were I see an old neighbor . I had ticket number 25 and it was only at 7 not looking good I saw a peace of paper on the chair beside me. Had a look and it was number 10 so when number 10 got called I looked nobody went up so I did! I explained I was pregnant and had 4 months to get out, they said well u need proof u are pregnant, and to fill a form out . The lady said I wasn't likely to get a place till baby is born unless I get an shared accommodation.(which means billy cannot be with me) Leaving there a bit bummed out I had to go in baby shops and look at baby clothes and maternity clothes . Thinking I’m going have a big tummy like that. Then reality hit again so I shot of to what I thought was connexions, but its changed name and appearance. But anyway I had to fill out a form then I got to speak to an ad visor she said it was unlikely I was going to get a job as no1 will want to take me on because im pregnant, and she thought I should do volunteer work so my cv looks better after I have had a baby. And she said there nothing that I can do about a house apart from keep crazing the council. She gave me some paperwork about what money I will get while being pregnant. And I looked at some jobs , she gave me some application forms for me to send off. I went home I called Emma (my step mum) and told her , well she guessed I was pregnant, she wasn't happy she was more disappointed then anything. She asked me if I wanted to have an abortion I said no because its like killing my baby. Well she said she would tell dad tonight because he might take it better from her. So at 5 I received a txt from him he said he was cross with billy because he had asked him not to do this and he said he didn't want to see me and he didn't want to know .This broke my heart. The main thing I wanted was my dad and his support, then he txt and said I knew u would fuck your life up in London, I don’t want to know any more. I said im your little girl and will always love u no matter what you think, he txt back and said your not my little girl no more your going to have your own baby your going to be a mummy, but ill always love you but I didn't want this 4 me or you. which broke my heart, because deep down ill always be my daddy’s little girl. Over dinner i was teary. billy had a heated conversation with woody about the pregnancy then we went to bed, one bad thing I haven’t wanted intercourse which isn't fair on billy. (suppose this is to do with my hormones and the thought of having a baby inside me).
So this is the second day since finding out i was pregnant, i am doing a few days at a time of it will be a long time till i get through the diary . feel free to comment.
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